Be kind to yourself:
1) self kindness; you matter! Remember yourself at the holidays
2) mindfulness; focus on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts and by sensations.
3) Common humanity; helping others and reconnect with people.
4) Sleep! Our bodies need more sleep in times of stress and grief.
IT’S ALL CONNECTED: we see that not only our thoughts, feelings, and the body, and behavior connected, they are influenced by the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of our past.
Our present thoughts also influence our future behavior. Once we understand this, we can break into the cycle of thoughts, feelings, body, and behavior and make a change. Look for connections between your thoughts, feelings, body, and behavior in your everyday experiences. Observe how your thoughts influence your present and future behavior. Ponder how your past plays a role in your present feelings, thoughts, and behavior. Write it all down in your journal or notebook.
- Start by trying to hear what you've been telling yourself lately about your break up and your self-esteem. Stop and listen when you feel the heartache, pain, anger, or grief. What are you saying to yourself? How is it related to your emotions? How does it affect your body? Do your thoughts help or hurt you in the long run? Are they truthful or exaggerated? Are you hard on yourself, tearing yourself down, or other thoughts loving, nurturing your body, mind, and soul?
- Notice the impact that your thoughts are having on your life. Do you ever catch yourself engaging in unhealthy behavior because of an automatic thought?
- Pay attention to how your past influences your present thoughts. Do you hear worries that stem from before your break up? Are your past years controlling your present behavior?
BOTTOM LINE: Once you hear your thoughts and begin to see how they influence your life, then you can choose to change your thoughts. In changing your thoughts you have the potential to significantly change your life!
Courtney Seyler M.A. LMFT